Emotional Intelligence – Your Secret Weapon for a Stress-Free Christmas

 With the Christmas season ramping up it got me thinking about the differences in the way people react to the season. The holiday season may be a time for joy, family, and celebration for some people. However, it can also be a time of immense stress, anxiety and even apathy for people who choose not to participate due to beliefs, culture etc. From shopping and cooking to parties and travel, the demands of the season can quickly overwhelm even the most organised among us. Needless to say, some of these sentiments spill over into conversations that I have with my coaching clients.

 If you are feeling stressed about the holidays, don’t worry, you’re not alone.  According to a recent survey, 83% of Irish people experience stress during the Christmas season. The most common stressors include:

  • Financial pressure (63%)
  • Trying to live up to expectations (52%)
  • Spending too much time with family (48%)
  • Arguing with family members (45%)
  • Feeling overwhelmed by social obligations (42%)

 The survey also found that women are more likely to experience stress during the Christmas season than men. Additionally, people who are single or divorced are more likely to experience stress than those who are married or in a relationship. That brings me to one of my favourite subjects, Emotional Intelligence. As I have shared in my past blogs Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand, manage, and express your emotions. It’s also the ability to understand and respond to the emotions of others. Check out my blog on how to harness your EI here

By tapping into your Emotional Intelligence (EI), you can manage stress and navigate the holiday season to the degree that suits you.   

People with high EI are better able to:

  • Manage stress
  • Build relationships
  • Communicate effectively
  • Solve problems

How to Leverage Your EI to Manage Stress During the Festive Season

Here are some of my top tips for using your EI to manage stress during the holidays:

  1. Identify your stressors – know what is causing you stress; chances are it won’t be much different from other years. Is the seasonal stress linked to your personality or disposition? For example, introverts may not enjoy festive social gatherings whilst extroverts can’t get enough of Christmas parties and celebrations. Once you know what your stressors are, you can start to develop strategies for dealing with them.
  2. Set realistic expectations with yourself and others – the holiday season is not meant to be perfect so don’t try to do everything (or be everything).  Make a candid list of things you like and dislike and follow this up with authentic decisions about how you will engage with the demands and expectations of others.  Delegate tasks, ask for help when you need it and learn how to politely decline invitations that are outside of your comfort zone.
  3. Take care of yourself, are you one of those people who gets sick the minute you finish work?Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising as normal. These activities will help you feel better both physically and emotionally helping you to stay focused and prioritise your needs.
  4. Practice relaxation techniques. Yoga, meditation, and deep breathing can all help to reduce stress. The Jin Shin Jyutsu Finger Exercise is a personal favourite relaxation exercise of mine.
  5. Be mindful of your thoughts, there is an old saying ‘If you keep doing what you have always done you will keep getting what you have always got’.  Negative recurring thoughts and self-talk can compound stress. Challenge your thoughts and replace them with more positive ones, play some music, or read a book; there is also a wide range of mindful arts and crafts that are designed to help you slow down and relax in a busy world.
  6. Communicate effectively, communication is at the core of Emotional Intelligence so you can learn to express how you are feeling and communicate your feelings to your friends, work colleagues and loved ones. Let them know what you need to support and learn how to support others too.
  7. Take breaks, give yourself permission to step away from the holiday hustle and bustle and take some time for yourself to create your own personal holiday blueprint.
  8. Set boundaries, don’t feel obligated to attend every social event or say yes to every request. Christmas is not a marathon yet sometimes the demands we put on ourselves can make it feel like a race to the finish line.
  9. Focus on the present moment, if you need to break a habit or tradition do so with thoughtful planning and positive communication.  Can you think of an event or a tradition that you participate in every year because you feel pressurised? Don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. Enjoy the moment and appreciate the people and things around you.
  10. Seek professional help if you need it. finally, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. There are plenty of professionals out there who can teach you additional coping skills and help you develop a plan for managing stress.

 Remember, the seasonal shift may be a time to celebrate and enjoy time with loved ones. But if you find yourself overstressed and unenthusiastic tune into your Emotional Intelligence to help you to manage stress and make the most of this special time of year.

Janet Tumulty

27th November 2023