As a leadership coach for many years, I’ve had the privilege of working with professionals from all walks of life as they step out of their comfort zone to pursue goals and stretch boundaries towards progressing their career aspirations. In the process, they often stumble before they reach their desired results. Coaching, by its nature, inspires innovation, creativity and critical thinking. One of the most powerful themes I’ve witnessed firsthand is the way people interpret setbacks when faced with a challenge. There are two types of reaction; one is where a client views a setback as a failure (a permanent state). The second is where a client looks at their setback as simply falling (a temporary state). The distinction between these two views, though subtle, makes a world of difference, and the reason for this is that the view of ‘failing’ is closely linked with a ‘Closed Mindset’, as the view of ‘falling’ is more aligned with a ‘Growth Mindset’.
The Mindset Model is a concept developed by psychologist Carol Dweck, whose research identifies the two core beliefs people hold about the ability to succeed. A Fixed Mindset is rooted in the belief that your abilities are static. You either have talent or you don’t. You’re either good enough or you’re not. So, when someone with a fixed mindset hits a wall, they interpret that as evidence of failure. “I failed; therefore, I am a failure.”
A Growth Mindset, on the other hand, sees abilities as expandable and opportunities for growth. Setbacks are not proof of not being ‘good enough’ but chances to learn, refocus, and try again with more insight. “I fell, but this is temporary; I can get up, learn, and keep going.”
My Ladder and the Wall Analogy
I often use the analogy of a ladder against a wall in coaching sessions. I encourage my clients to imagine that they are climbing a ladder, but the ladder is leaning against a wall with poor structure. There is another wall, but erecting the ladder against this wall demands more effort and patience.
If your ladder is placed against the wall of a Growth Mindset, slipping is seen as falling. You might lose your grip for a moment, get bruised, feel frustrated but you understand that it’s part of the climb. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off and learn from the experience; question what caused the fall and how falling can be avoided next time. Falling is temporary.
But if your ladder is leaning against the wall of a Fixed Mindset, slipping is seen as failure; you believe that every slip or trip is a personal indictment. “See? I knew I couldn’t do this.” The fall doesn’t just hurt, it convinces you that you shouldn’t even be on the ladder in the first place.
A Client Story from the Ladder
One client I worked with came to me deeply burned out. My client had lost interest in both work and leisure activities, things that had previously given them a lot of satisfaction. Their work performance had dropped to the point that it was becoming a problem. My client felt stuck, and relationships at work had become strained. Small frustrations would trigger intense anger, and my client became reactive and withdrawn.
My client believed that they were failing at work, at life, and at keeping it all together. The narrative in their head was full of negative thoughts like “I’m not cut out for this anymore,” or “Maybe I’ve peaked, and it’s downhill from here.”
In our coaching sessions, we began by gently challenging that narrative. What if, instead of failing, they were just falling? What if this was a moment to pause and reflect, not to give up?
By introducing the growth mindset framing, we were able to shift the lens so that my client could see that this wasn’t a permanent state; rather, it was a signal. A signal to re-evaluate, to do a reality check rather than run with assumptions, to practice self-reflection and, importantly, self-care.
Together, we explored what balance could look like. We identified small, manageable changes to support their wellbeing, manage boundaries at work, take breaks and rediscover interests outside the job. My client began to recognise that falling wasn’t the end, it was a difficult moment that could lead to growth with the right attitude of mind.
Gradually, things shifted. My client’s energy began to return, and their reactions towards others softened. They reconnected with a clear plan, not because everything got easier but because their mindset got stronger.
Failing vs. Falling?
There is a core shift needed for people who believe that failing is final because it speaks to their identity. This shift helps them to recognise that falling is just something that happens when you’re on the move and when you’re going somewhere. Falling is external, not internal; you can fall without failing, and in fact, falling is often how we learn to climb better.
In coaching, I’ve seen how transformative it can be when someone realises that they’re not failing; they’re just falling. They’re not broken; they are learning, and the same setback that once felt devastating now fuels their growth.
Which Wall Is Your Ladder Against?
So, here’s my advice when you hit a challenge, ask yourself which voice do you hear?
Is it? “I knew I wasn’t good enough for this”, or “What can I learn from this moment?”
This approach is not about toxic positivity or pretending that setbacks don’t sting. It is just understanding that your mindset determines what you do with the sting. Whether you stay down or get back up and reach higher.
For further inspiration, I recommend Brene Brown’s book entitled ‘Daring Greatly’ famously inspired by Theodore Roosevelt’s ‘Man in the arena’ an excerpt from “Citizenship in A Republic”, delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on 23 April, 1910
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
The difference between falling and failing is not measured by the size of the setback; rather, it relies on the story we attach to it. One story has the power to end the journey, while a more optimistic story turns the page to the next chapter. The next time you lose your footing, don’t rush to judgment; instead, pause, breathe and ask did I really fail, or did I just fall? Then, check the direction of your ladder and climb again.
Janet Tumulty
3.4.25